I hereby confess #1

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain”
   - Frank Herbert, Dune

I confess that being scared is an integral part of me.
I'm always scared. Of everything and everyone.
It's one of many feelings I have no control over. And that scares me even more.
No matter how much I'm reassured that everything will be okay, I'm still scared.
No matter how many promises are made to me, I'm still scared.
No matter how many times I've managed to conquer fear, I'm still scared.
Overwhelming isn't it?
I could literally write a ten-page manifesto on everything that scares me. I could even rank my fears from the mildly unsettling to the truly terrifying. And even then, I'd barely scratch the surface.

I know I'm not the only one here.
We are all scared of something, right?

Or are we all scared of everything?
I think fear is actually the ultimate link that brings this whole world together.
It's the behind-the-scenes puppeteer that controls it all.
You form your own social circles, because you want company? Or because you're scared of being alone?
You aspire to a career you love, because you wanna be successful? Or Because you're scared of being a failure?
We are all scared..and probably of the same things. And this makes us ONE.
It's a little relieving, I'm not gonna lie.
Kinda makes it easier for me to accept my reality.
For I've always thought that fear is a weakness. MY weakness.

But you know what? It's not a weakness. It's a beast.
A beast that's gonna eat me alive if I don't manage to tame it.
That is if it hasn't started sinking its claws into my skin already.
Because I can feel the bleed.
I know that it will always be there. That there's no way to actually kill it.
So I will just need a way to cope with it.
To not let it paralyze me like it always does.
I have no idea how I'm gonna do that.
But hopefully, I won't get too scared to try...