Human

After many years of overthinking and contemplating my very own existence, I think I found out why I hate interacting with humans.

It's pretty simple actually. Humans are unnecessarily complicated creatures.
They somehow know how to sit you down and sap your energy leaving you feeling all empty inside...
You keep taking hit after hit, and every time you get up hoping that maybe..just maybe someone will show up and make it worthwhile.
But at some point it dawns on you that you are facing an uphill battle. There's no way to win, and no one will show up.
Because believe it or not, they're all the same. They all master the art of turning every relationship into a battle field.

But here's what I find ironic. We all think this way.
Try stopping a random person in the street and ask them "what makes your life difficult?"
I bet you it will involve someone in their life.

I mean it makes you wonder right? If we all feel that human relationships are so damn hard, then why on earth do we make it so?
Why can't relationships be just..direct?
Why can't we say what we just feel?
Why do we have to overthink every single step we intend to take, and fear how the other person would react?
Why do we have to play mind games and twist every beautiful thought for absolutely no reason?
Why can't we just be simple?!

You know, I tried to give humans a chance. I tried to get to know them..love them.
And for a moment I thought maybe this isn't so bad. But it was such a slap in the face.
Like I said, humans manage to manipulate each other in the most crucial way possible. And the sad part is? They always make you feel like you're the bad guy.

But it's okay. I've made peace with the fact that socializing with humans is not my thing. Because at some point I know I will find myself drowning in an endless surge of pain and confusion, and it will take me forever to find my peace again.
Human-animal interaction, on the other hand, now that I can handle.
I mean, it's a very straightforward relationship. You are good to the animal, it will be good to you. You act like a numskull, it scratches your eyes out. Simple right?
No mind games and no form of emotional abuse whatsoever.

So I learned my lesson the hard way.
Letting your guard down in this sinking world means you're doomed.
No matter how sweet or harmless they may seem, their thorns will always make your heart cry.
One small mistake. That's all it takes to drive you to build this mighty wall around yourself and swear to never tear it down.
This is why I chose to seek solace in solitude. It may look like a cage. But safe in a cage is better than getting eaten alive out there.
There's a very good chance I might end up being the crazy lady that only lives with her cats. But hey, at least my cats will never break my heart. Only when they die though.

But you know what makes me feel even more sick? It's the fact that I know that I'm not that much of angel myself. I know that I'm the bad guy in someone's life. I know I haven't been as simple as I wish to be.

So what does that make me?